I wanted you to know the story of the day you were born. It was an emotional, long, and miraculous day!
Your due date was March 11, 2008. About a week before your birthday, I went in for my weekly check-up with Dr. Aldrich, my OB. She said my body was already getting ready for your birth, and that since you were ready - she wanted to induce me so you'd come a little earlier. So we set the date - March 6th, 2008.
Daddy and I were to report to St. Luke's Hospital in Sioux City, IA at 6:00am! Yikes, that's early! I didn't sleep at all that night - I was too excited. The night before; daddy, Tata, and I went out for dinner. Afterward, I took a shower, straightened my hair, and went to bed - and lied there all night, so anxious to meet my girl!
Then the contractions started. Not too bad at first. The nurse came in to check me, I was about 80%, but only 2 inches dilated. He said he'd be back. So Daddy, Tata, and I talked, watched TV, and just waited. Daddy let me squeeze his hand with every contraction and Tata would rub my leg which helped me relax during contractions.
The doctor came in a couple hours into the process and said that she was going to break my water and increase my Pitocin since I wasn't progressing very quickly. After doing this, my contractions increased in frequency - and in pain! But I was determined to hang in there for a long as I could bear. Dr. Aldrich said, that based on the frequency and intensity of my contractions, she figured that the next time they checked me, I'd have progressed significantly.
Well, she was wrong. They came in later to check me. 90%, 2.5 inches. This was discouraging news and I was in a LOT of pain! So that's when I decided to get my epidural. They called the anesthesiologist and around lunchtime he came in and started my epidural. I was so scared, already very tired, and shaking from the frequency and intensity of my contractions. No one could believe that with the contractions I was having, I wasn't progressing! I hugged Daddy tightly while the doc got my epidural in. Shortly afterward, I couldn't feel anything from the waist down.
That good feeling didn't last long. While Daddy went down to get some lunch with Tata, I started getting really dizzy, shaking, and started feeling out of it. I called the nurse, but they were in there before I could even call them because my monitors and yours started going crazy! I was passing out. Before I new it, there were like 8 nurses in my room, they were lowering the head of my bed, taking my blood pressure, giving me oxygen, and trying to figure out what was happening. Daddy walked in the room while this was happening and got very scared. My blood pressure dropped VERY low, then shot up VERY high, and too quickly, went way back down. They turned off my epidural and kept me on oxygen. I finally came to and couldn't figure out what was happening. I was in a lot of pain again and feeling very crummy!
After a couple of hours of intense contractions every minute or two, they checked me again. Nothing. I was fully effaced but only 3 inches dilated. You were at a station -1 or -2, meaning you weren't even engaged yet. We still had a LONG ways to go! They started my epidural again, but this time - it didn't work. At all. This is when I started feeling a little worried that this was going to be a very long and painful process.
Boy was I right! Around 5:00 pm, my doctor came back in and checked me. I was fully effaced, but only dilated to a 4 (a "generous 4," she said - meaning it was closer to 3.5) and you were still at station -1. You just were not coming down! The doctor said she'd check back during the 6:00 hour to see what was happening. In the next hour and a half, I was having one very intense contraction on top of another. I thought, "these contractions have to be doing something!"
But they weren't. Close to 6:30, the doctor came back in. I started crying when she said I hadn't budged in terms of dilation and that you hadn't budged or moved down any closer to engage in my pelvis. That's when she said the "C-word." She said that felt my body just wasn't going to do this, and that we'd need to do a c-section. I was already feeling very emotional - the pain, the exhaustion, the anxiety - they all compounded when she said "c-section" and I started to cry. I sobbed. I didn't want a c-section, I told her. I wanted to do this the way I'd always imagined - I wanted to have a mirror so I could watch my baby come into the world. I wanted to hold my baby on my chest as my husband cut the cord. I envisioned this all a certain way and a c-section was not in my plan! She said she'd give me one more hour. If she saw ANY progress, she'd let me keep going over night. But, if I continued to stay stuck, we'd have to do a c-section.
So I prayed and I cried. I told Daddy and Tata that I didn't want to give up on my dream of ever having a vaginal delivery. At this point, there were no breaks in between each contraction, and they each lasted well over a minute. I was shaking and in so much pain, still without a working epidural. at 7:15, the doctor came back in and said you were hanging in there and doing great, but that all of this was taking its toll on my body and I wasn't doing so well. She checked me. Absolutely zero change from the last time. She took my hand and said "we've done all we can, we need to get this baby out and get your body some relief." At this point I just looked at Daddy and cried - knowing that the choice had pretty much been made for me. I needed to do what was best for us (you and me). The next half hour flew by in a blur.
They came in and took more blood from me, adjusted my IV, took off the monitors, got me prepped for the c-section, and wheeled me away from my mom and away from my husband. I was scared. Daddy was scared. Tata was scared. But we were also just so ready for you to be here. The nurses got Daddy in his scrubs and brought him into the operating room after my spinal block was complete. The one great thing about the c-section (other than getting to see you quicker), was the relief I finally felt from the contractions! They prepped the OR and once they knew I was numb, they began the procedure.
I could feel some pressure...pushing and pulling. I started feeling shaky and very nauseous. The anesthesiologist was so kind and explained to me that it was just the meds, that I was pefectly and safe, that all my vitals were just great.
Then they brought you to me. They propped you up next to me and daddy helped holding you so I could hold you with my free arm. I just kept kissing you and saying "Hi my Angel" and "I've been waiting for you, my Princess." Daddy and I cried and kissedyou and kissed each other and cried some more.
After they got me all sewn up, it was time for them to take you to the nursery so they could check you out, get your newborn shots, etc. I didn't want them to take you from me, but they had given me some medicine to help with my shakiness and my pain; so I started feeling very sleepy. Daddy went with you to the nursery and on your way there, your grandparents - Daddy's mom and dad, Tata, and Great-Grandma Podie - got to see you for the first time. Everyone cried tears of joy!
After some time in recovery, I finally got to see you again. I missed you! I tried nursing you, you were just more interested in sleeping than anything else. So we mostly just snuggled and stared at you. Daddy changed your first diaper - which happened to be his first diaper too. :) Tata spent the night that night and we all got a little rest. You barely made a peep! You just slept and peeked at me with one eye every now and then. You looked just like I did when I was a new baby. And Tata said all I ever wanted to do those first few days was sleep and peek at her. I guess we're two peas in a pod, you and I! :)
Gabi, you changed my life five years ago, today! I can't believe that you turn 5 today. The joy and the lessons you have brought to my life are inexplicable. Daddy and I love you, cherish you, and thank God for you! You are so kind, so funny, so smart, so beautiful - inside and out. You are my pride and my joy! I love you with all of my heart and all of my soul, forever and ever, to the moon and back, to infinity and beyond.
Love,
Mami
